Rants of This Tiny Girl

Creeps come out during the holidays. Maybe they get lonely? Who the F cares. If you stood me up for a date a YEAR ago and made up some lame ass “I was playing soccer and got detained by the police” story bc you wanted to date another girl and be shady about it. Now fast forward to the past few months when you have been asking to hang out and see me and “watch movies”. We all know what watching movies means. Esp when I just moved and dont have a couch and you say “thats cool”. Yea, that would be cool for you … so you can come in, NOT even watch the movie, and we have possibly the shortest sex in the history of sex. No, I do not want to waste my lady business on you. Whats that? Your bombarding me with lots of texts about how beautiful and amazing I am? Wow. Thats great. And your a liar. I’m beautiful probably about 50 percent of the time, and thats because I like to go “as is” places. I know thats not cute, you don’t have to lie to me. And amazing? O yes, I am. This I know for a fact. I am so amazing that I don’t want you to call me up around NYE so you won’t be alone, have what more than likely would be the WORST sex in the world with me, and then lose my number for another year or until you get desperate for sex with ANYBODY again.

Let me give you a dollar so you can buy a clue.

Things I am thankful for:

My wonderful, amazing, fabulous friends, and my pretty fantastic family. Who has the cutest dad ever? THIS GIRL. Who’s sister sends random “I miss you fat girl” texts? THIS GIRL.  Who has best friends who make them laugh daily? THIS GIRL.  Just because one guy dosen’t like me, its not the end of the world.

I still win at life.

So before I volunteer for this charity bike building event, I’m going to rant about guys. Why is it even the nice guys make you feel horrid???? Shouldn’t this NOT happen??

Case in point - Thursday, I get gorgeous flowers and a card that makes me tear up from this guy I’ve been dating for a month. Friday was fine also - I even commented about how happy I was. Like a complete moron I went on and on to my BFF how fucking happy and content I was. Fast forward to Sunday morning… he calls me and says “I don’t think I can do this - be in a real relationship”. What was  I supposed to say? All I could choke out was “ok”. I’ve learned you can’t make someone be with you if they don’t want to, whatever issues they may have.

You know and I really thought this was a great thing I had accidently stumbled upon. This great guy, who was funny and nice and made me feel really good to be me.

I don’t know whats worse - getting nicely dumped by a guy or finally letting go of the guy whom for 4 years used me for relations and refused to date me or go anywhere with me and left me for his friends whenever he could and showed up at my house at 2:30 am DRUNK to stay for about an hour and leave. Oh, wait - I do know what’s worse - getting nicely dumped.

At least with the other - I could be angry.

Now, I’m just confused, and it feels like a dinosaur stomped all over my tiny heart. I’ve been sitting in a dark apartment for the last day because my eyes have been too swollen to deal with the lights. I’ve thrown up the one thing I managed to choke down yesterday.

But, on the plus side, I have managed to get a shit-load of work done today at work. Between tearing up at odd parts of the day and working furiously I have managed to make it through Monday.I’ve also managed to get some soup and a sandwich in me and hopefully I plan on stuffing a hot dog or something down my gullet during this bike building thing.

I wonder what the rest of the week holds for me? I am waiting for this to pass, because I am a good person, I think? I mean, right? Who the fuck knows.

Oh, and also - looking at someone’s wedding picture proofs was DEFINATELY not the smartest thing to do today either.

Que sera, sera I guess.

Dear Centerpoint,

Please pick up the phone. I just need a form emailed to me, nothing major, no gas leaks, nada. To the person whom I get on the other end of the line after being on hold for FOREVER, I apologize in advance. Maybe if Laurinda (or however you pronounce her name) had sent the right form over, it might have saved you a conversation with me…. but sadly, that didn’t happen.

I need assistance! NOW!!!!!!

I’ll be polite as I possibly can, but the longer I am on hold, the less charming I grow.

Sincerely,

Tiny Fists of Fury